Work

So here's what happened -

I showed up to work on Wed and no one was there yet (as usual). My boss strolls through the door sometime between 9:30 and 10:00 and doesn't say a word to me and starts doing other things. Around 10:30 she gets up and asks me to come talk with her. We go into another room and she sits me down and reems me out for about another half an hour brining up every typo and mistake that I've ever made since I started working there, calls me lazy and sloppy and basically tells me that the Board members wanted to fire me. However she says that she is "graciously" giving me another chance but that I have to pull me act together and prove that I deserve to be there. This means that everday I have to write down everything I do - every fax I send, every phone call I take, how many times I go to the bathroom and sign it at the end of the day to prove that I'm doing a full day's work. So basically I'm working in the land of double standards and while she and Jean sit around all day talking and come in an hour late and leave an hour early I have to "prove I deserve to be there" by accounting for everything I do and clocking in and out at 9 and 5. I no this doesn't sound that bad - it's kinda like every other job but it's the principle of the thing. I mean the hypocrisy is so thick in the room I can see my breath and I hate working everyday with someone who is just using every opportunity to exert their power over me and make me feel worthless. So here I am. I'm still working there but one more thing happens and I'm ready to walk right out the door and not look back. I'm also looking for a new job in the meantime - I'd really love to quit the week before Festivals and leave them hanging. See this is the irony of it all - now that she's treated me like this I feel less inclined to work hard, yes maybe I'm working more but I'm not trying as hard and I'm totally resisting the urge to sabotage things on purpose. I'd love to just dump the filing cabinet all over the floor and walk out the door laughing or start shelving books in the wrong spots (they'd never find them), or call an adjudicator and tell them that Festival is cancelled and then watch them not show up. But God has been pushing me really hard to be a better person than that. If I stoop to her level of malice then I'm not better than she is so I might as well just stay there and join the club. It's the fact that I can be a better person than she is that makes me so angry about the whole thing in the first place.

Well that was a lot of rambling but I know some of you wanted to know how it turned out. If it doesn't make sense then join the club - my brain is one big jumble of shock, hurt, insults, and anger right now. If you have any advice I'd love to hear it. I just wish that I had the job that I had 2 weeks ago.

That's all for now.

Ciao

Life Sucks Today

So I am officially having one of the worst months EVER!
If you read my previous blog you already know that my Dad passed away very suddenly a few weeks ago. As far as that goes everything is going okay. The internment is this weekend at Rundle Mission, AB so we're leaving on Saturday and coming back on Monday (talk to about a quick trip). So if that wasn't bad enough I think I may have almost gotten fired today... yep fired....from my great job that I loved. But I don't know yet for sure I have to go back in tomorrow. Here's what happened:

This past weekend was your first ever Middle Years Festival which was a really big deal for us. We had eveyone we know come and help out including our husbands. So while Jesse was here (and not doing much I must add because we had WAY too may people) he decided to take a look at my computer because it had been running rather slow. I mistakenly thought this would not be a problem becasue my boss has her entire extended family on the office computers all the time. Well apparently it was a problem because when I got to work this morning I got totally reemed out for him being on there. Apparently she thinks that he installed new RAM on it (which he DID NOT) without authorization and when I told her that he didn't she basically called me a liar, told me to go home and get my story straight with my husband, and then to come back tomorrow. After I left I called Jesse on his cell and he called her to apologize and assure her that he did not put anything on or in the computer he just messed with some of the settings and she called him a liar and hung up on him. So now I have to go to work tomorrow morning and face this. I'm pretty sure that if I don't walk in there admitting to everything she accused us of then I'll be fired. But I refuse to comprimise myself by lying and telling her what she wants to hear. The thing is can she fire me for something she thinks Jesse did? She invited him to come volunteer and he messed around on the computer - I wasn't even in the room for most of it. Can she blame me for what she thinks he did? I'm really angry right now. I'm not even sure that I want to stay working there even if she doesn't fire me - I've had all day to sit a stew about this it's making me really mad.

So that was my day - Oh yah.. and I got a wisdom tooth pulled this afternoon so now I'm all swollen and numb and frozen and it really sucks. Anybody wanna trade right now?

Why are my blogs always so negative. I'll try to say soemthing happy next time - unless of course I do get fired in which case I'll say something happy two times from now.

Ciao

My Dad

Hi everyone!

However hard this is for me I thought I would write a blog to let everyone know why it seems that I've fallen off of the face of the earth for the last few weeks. You guys probably didn't notice since it's not unusual for me to go a few weeks without blogging and I'm sure you all don't just sit home waiting for my next post. But it sure feels to me that I've fallen off of the face of the earth. You see... My Dad passed away on January 19th.

It all happened so fast really. About two weeks before that he went into the hospital because he wasn't feeling well - originally he thought he had the flu. The kept him for a couple of day and did some test and ultimately decided it was cancer - of the kidneys and maybe more. They sent him home to wait until he could get in to the cancer clinic (which usually takes a couple of weeks I guess). We went home for that weekend and saw him (he looked sick and weak but not THAT bad). Then on the monday Mom took him back to the hospital becasue she didn't think he was eating enough. Tuesday night Mom calls me as says that Dad had a bad night and the we should come see him - but I said that we couldn't come until the weekend because we had school and work and that cancer lasts a long time and we could keep running home every time he has a bad night. Then at work on Wednesday morning my sister calls me and says that she comig through town and she's going to pick me up because the nurses said that we should come see Dad. So I went but Jesse stayed home. By the time we got there we has so sick and so weak that he could barely talk. He had lost so much weight and they had tubes sticking out of him eveywhere. It was horrible. So as it goes he got worse so fast that on Thursday his kidney's started failing and by 9:30 on Friday morning he had passed away.

It's all happened so fast that I'm not sure that it has fully registered yet. The funeral was last wednesday. And we're taking his ashes to Alberta to bury them on Feb. 18th.

My boss just came in so I should go to work now. I'm sure I'll more to say later. I just wanted to share what was going on in my life.

Ciao